IMG_2624(Editor’s note: This is a  story I wrote for a writing contest. In the contest I could only use 250 words, but here I can write as I feel led by God. I pray it ministers to you, it did to me.

I’m not the girl in the story, but the emotions were mine.  My highest weight was 241 pounds, not 300. The words God spoke to her were the same words He spoke to me when I cried out in desperation.

This story begins in fiction and ends with truth. As they say in the movies, “This is a fiction story based on some facts of truth.”)



She sat in the back of the church tugging her pants, “I can’t breathe. It’s a good thing my coat covers all this.”

The soloist sang, ‘My chains are gone. I’ve been set free.’

As she felt the warmth of God’s Presence, a single tear escaped. She wondered, “ Is there hope for me?” He whispered, “I love you.”
“Is that You Lord?”

After the service, she went to the handicap stall in the Ladies room. It’s easier to move in there. Two women came in talking about the service. They didn’t see her. One asked, “Did you see that big woman in the back? She must weigh 300 pounds.”
The other responded, “She was huge and such a pretty face too. What a shame.” They walked out shaking their heads.

She felt the heat of embarrassment rising on her face, came out of the stall, and stood at the mirror staring at her reflection. “I’m glad they didn’t see me. My face is pretty, but I’m so fat and ugly. I hate myself. I can’t stop eating. I’m so ashamed. I need professional help. Why am I still alive? What am I living for?”

He whispered, “I love you. Don’t you know how much I love you?  I think you’re so beautiful for I created you in beauty.  I’ve come to bring you abundant life, My child. I’ve come to set you free and give you a new life. You are to live for Me. I have plans for you, many plans for a hope and a future.”

“I have an abundant body. I don’t need any more abundance, but I could use a new life. I hate this one.”

I’ve come to bring you healing, to set you free, and to fill you with Myself. ”

“Lord, is that possible?”

“My child, if you’ll seek My Face, trust Me in all things, and obey My instructions I’ll give you victory. I love you more than you will ever know. I want to deliver you from this bondage of compulsive overeating and the weight of failure acquired from all your struggles with man created diets. Open your mouth and I will fill it. Today is the first day of your healing. Are you willing to believe that I can do this?”

She felt hope stirring. The warmth of His love overwhelmed her, “Oh Lord, I want to  believe. Help me to believe. I am so sick of this life, just existing. The only pleasure I get is from food. But I’m trapped in this bondage, I can’t get out.”

“My child, I am your counselor. Give yourself to Me and I will set you free. Come to Me.”

Her tears flowed in release, relief, and surrender,  “Here I am, a failure, with nothing to offer You but I give myself to You. Do with me as You will.” Then she smiled in hope and His love.

Hear me as I pray, O Lord. Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard You say, “Come and talk with Me.” and my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.” Psalm 27:7-8 NLT

— I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Psalm 32:8 NLT

—This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. Psalm 34:5 NLT

— Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Psalm 73: 23-24 NLT

— Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:36 NKJV




About deborahcrocker

I am a retired public school teacher. I have been married for 44 years to my high school sweet heart. We have two grown children and six grandchildren. For many years I have written my prayers in order to maintain both my focus and as a release from my stresses. These prayers are written in the form of dialog with God. I write my concerns, questions, and then write the answers just as they came into my heart. This website contains the conversations I had with God concerning my constant struggle with my weight and my compulsion to overindulge in the pleasure of food. I have gained, lost, and regained over 60lbs several times throughout my lifetime. I am now in the process of surrendering this addiction to God’s control and I know He will give me the victory. I believe that God speaks to all of His children in different ways. With me, He speaks both in my heart and in my dialog writings. ”My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” John 10:27 It is my hope and prayer that these dialogs will both encourage and bless you throughout your own journey of breaking free from your addiction. I hope that you will also begin having your own personal dialogs with God. He will speak to your heart as well.I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and that He rose again on the third day so that we may have a “new” life both here on Earth and later in Heaven. I also believe that my overeating (gluttony) is a sin (addiction) that has held me in bondage with a constant struggle for most of my adult life. This addiction, like all addictions, has prevented me from living a life to my fullest potential. I have always felt controlled and defeated by this overwhelming compulsion to overeat. This compulsion, at times, has damaged both my confidence and my potential. John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly. BUT I know that Jesus Christ has come to set me free! HE IS THE ANSWER! As I surrender the control of my life and desires to His direction and His will, He will set me free from all addictions! He promises and He will make you free too! John 8:36 Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. VICTORY IS COMING!!!
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  1. This was painful to read, but necessary to hear. Thank you for inspiring, I am tweeting this…Hopefully it will encourage all who read it.

  2. rachaelxoxo says:

    This was a beautiful piece. I feel as though I could’ve been the girl you were writing about.

    Not too long before I began my weight loss journey, a boy said this very same thing to me. He said, “You have such a beautiful face… But the rest of you… Well, too bad.” I was angry, at first, that he was so publicly rude to me (lots of other people were around to hear the comments), and then later, when I was alone, I was hopelessly sad… because he basically just reiterated what I thought about myself: I have a pretty face, but the rest of me is absolutely hideous.

    It wasn’t long after that that I went to WW and got help. People can be so cruel, but sometimes that’s what you need to hear. For you, God called you away from man made diets. For me, I think He lead me to a place that would help me and restore my faith and confidence in myself (WW). I am so glad we’ve both found the right path to walk along! ❤

    Thank you for sharing!

  3. Renee Kinlaw says:

    This could easily be my story. I have struggled with my weight from childhood. Thank you for sharing.

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