IT’S A “GOD” THING – 71 pounds gone.

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At my largest Notice my Celebrate Recovery t-shirt. On the left is Cheryl my 4th accountability partner

In May 2013, I weighed 241 lbs. and served as a cook for Celebrate Recovery. God has a real sense of humor putting me in a place of service right in the middle of my addiction.

Sometimes we “Christians” look down on others thinking to ourselves, “I’m not as bad as that.”  Sin is sin and addiction is addiction. I know.

Week after week I heard ex-addicts testify and share their stories of  God’s mercy and freedom of His deliverance. I serve them food at the meetings, at home I’m secretly intoxicating myself with food pleasure. As I listened to their stories I hung my head in shame for I knew I was drowning in my food addiction.    2015/01/img_3994.jpg

I attended the women’s addiction group and confessed my addiction to them. To my surprise they accepted and loved on me. I drew from their strength and power and asked the leader if she would be my sponsor. She agreed.

Things rocked along smoothly for a while, then I succumbed to a major food binge. For years I used food as my comfort source to cope with the stresses of life. My old enemy, “Gluttony Monster” fought against all my resolve to resist temptation and he won.

After I confessed my failure to my sponsor, she became overwhelmed. “I can’t work with you. I’m an ex-addict. I know how to help drug addicts, but I don’t know how to help someone with a food addiction. Maybe you just need to go to a dietician.”

I cried for three days. I felt rejected by an ex-drug addict. Was I hopeless? Is there any hope for me?

She did tell me that she knew food addiction was hard to overcome. Drug addicts and alcoholics once delivered by God can put their addiction in a cage and never go back. But someone with a food addiction is like having a tiger in a cage. You have to take it out three times a day and pet it. Then put it back in the cage until the next time. She said she knew it was hard but she felt inadequate to help me.

This didn’t help, I still felt rejected and hopeless. Now what? I did go to a dietician and had some success only to return to overeating 24/7. I continued to look for someone who could help me at Celebrate Recovery. I went through several accountability partners only to fail each one. My failures continued to pile up. My sense of failure outgrew my body.

Finally in May 2013, weighing 241, I cried out in desperation to God and asked Him for direction. I was a failure and defeated. I asked Him if I needed to go to a professional counselor because I just could not stop eating. Was there something wrong with me? Maybe I needed psychological help.

He spoke to my heart and I will never forget it.

I AM your counselor, come to Me.”

____________________________________

 . . . And His Name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God. . . Isaiah 9:6

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy; I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10

Therefore, if the Son makes you free; you shall be free indeed. John 8:36

2015/01/img_3802.pngIMG_3993-0     2015/01/img_3759.png   These are my size 12 jeans, 71 pounds later.

 

 

 

 

 

About deborahcrocker

I am a retired public school teacher. I have been married for 44 years to my high school sweet heart. We have two grown children and six grandchildren. For many years I have written my prayers in order to maintain both my focus and as a release from my stresses. These prayers are written in the form of dialog with God. I write my concerns, questions, and then write the answers just as they came into my heart. This website contains the conversations I had with God concerning my constant struggle with my weight and my compulsion to overindulge in the pleasure of food. I have gained, lost, and regained over 60lbs several times throughout my lifetime. I am now in the process of surrendering this addiction to God’s control and I know He will give me the victory. I believe that God speaks to all of His children in different ways. With me, He speaks both in my heart and in my dialog writings. ”My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” John 10:27 It is my hope and prayer that these dialogs will both encourage and bless you throughout your own journey of breaking free from your addiction. I hope that you will also begin having your own personal dialogs with God. He will speak to your heart as well.I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and that He rose again on the third day so that we may have a “new” life both here on Earth and later in Heaven. I also believe that my overeating (gluttony) is a sin (addiction) that has held me in bondage with a constant struggle for most of my adult life. This addiction, like all addictions, has prevented me from living a life to my fullest potential. I have always felt controlled and defeated by this overwhelming compulsion to overeat. This compulsion, at times, has damaged both my confidence and my potential. John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly. BUT I know that Jesus Christ has come to set me free! HE IS THE ANSWER! As I surrender the control of my life and desires to His direction and His will, He will set me free from all addictions! He promises and He will make you free too! John 8:36 Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. VICTORY IS COMING!!!
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15 Responses to IT’S A “GOD” THING – 71 pounds gone.

  1. 18mitzvot says:

    I look forward to reading more of your story and mazal tov on your weight loss.

  2. Alison says:

    This is a powerful and beautifully-told story, Deborah. I am so proud of you for overcoming your addiction and your breathtaking honesty in sharing your story!

  3. rachaelxoxo says:

    You look so fantastic, and I am SO very proud of you — both for overcoming your addiction AND for having the courage to share your story here.

    You are a true inspiration to me. I am so glad we found each other on this journey! Thank you for walking with me! ❤

  4. rachelfaye91 says:

    What an inspirational lady you are. Congratulations on all you have achieved, it must feel good to be free 🙂

  5. What an amazing story and you are to be congratulated on your success and for giving God the credit. You just explained why I enjoy being a nutritional counselor. When I tell others I’m a nutritionist, some shrug and reply, “Oh I already know what I should be eating.” So why don’t they??? James 2:19 tells us that even the demons knew about God but so what? – they didn’t follow Christ. Head knowledge and heart knowledge are two different things! A counselor gets to the root of the “why” challenge.

    I am so honored that you are following my blog and I can’t wait to discover more about you. Blessings and admiration for your success,

    • Thank you so much Ellie for subscribing to my blog. Thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement. Yes, it had been a “God thing” this whole journey. He has been my weight loss Couselor.

      I have no willpower at all, but He has all the power.

      And what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power.
      Ephesians 1:19

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