Eau de Butter Cream Parfum 

(True story.)  When she walked into the room the fragrance of sweetness followed her. As she stood still, the aroma settled over her. Everyone could smell the sweetness that surrounded her. I leaned back to breathe in the sweetness. Hmmm.

I whispered to my sister-in-law, “What’s that fragrance she’s wearing? I love it. I want some for myself.” 

My sister-in-law laughed, “That’s birthday cake. She has a business baking cakes. The smell has settled into her skin pores and her hair. Children at her church like to sit by her because they like her smell.”

This sweet-smelling lady walked over to our table. Taking a deep breath I confessed, “I love your aroma. It’s intoxicating.”

She laughed, “Yes, it’s cake icing.”

“Oh, I love real icing. That’s what it smells like, real birthday cake icing. Not that whipped topping stuff, but the real sweet stuff.”

“The butter cream icing?”

“Yes, that’s it. Butter Cream.  Hmmm. You smell just like that.”

Smiling, she replied, “I have extra pieces of cake left over all the time and extra icing too. I’ll give you some.”

With widened eyes, shaking my head, “No, I absolutely love birthday cake with real icing. It’s my favorite of all time. But no, I don’t need it. I’ve lost over 87 pounds and don’t need extra birthday cake.”

She laughed, “Just let me know. I have plenty.”

“Do you eat it all the time?”

Shaking her head and wrinkling her nose, “Oh no, I’m around it all the time. So I don’t want any at all.”

Her smell was so sweet. I wish I could get that smell in a bottle. I’d buy it for myself. I could sell it and make a fortune.

— Lord, wouldn’t  it be great if I had the fragrance of Your Spirit so when I’m around other people, they could smell the sweetness of Your Presence?

My child, you can carry My fragrance. Her aroma smells of birthday cake because she’s constantly around it. Your aroma can smell of My Sweet Spirit as you focus more on My Presence. Spend more time with Me and others will smell My fragrance and want more of Me for themselves.

Lord, I want this. Overwhelm me with the fragrance of Your Sweet Spirit.

 But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among  those who are perishing.  2 Corinthians 2:14- 15 NKJV


A week later. . . Hubby’s birthday. . . Family gathering. . .  Three different kinds of birthday cake. . .  Three different ice cream flavors.  Oh my.


I did eat a half serving of cake with my meal being careful to follow God’s plan for my eating.

Later while cleaning up, I started with just one spoonful of icing, then took a fork full of cake from the corner. Continuing to clean I looked at the cake.

“Oh no, it’s crooked. I’ll just take another fork full to make it straight.” Another bite followed another bite.

By this time I had another eaten another whole piece. Conviction came, fear of failure, defeat, guilt, shame, and humiliation all showed up. It’s amazing who shows up when you’re overeating cake.

As I put the last bite of cake in my mouth I cried, “Jesus help me. I’m drowning in birthday cake. Help me!”

 Immediately He answered. Here I am. My child, I’m with you. I’ll help you. Now turn away from this. Walk away.

I walk away, grab some sugar-free gum just to chew. Taking a deep breath, I leave the room. “Lord, help me. Forgive me. I don’t want to go back to the way I was, drowning in my food addiction. I’m so weak now. I’m come too far with this weight loss.

I want to share with others Your way to freedom and victory.  But how can I if I become entrapped again?”

My child, stay at My feet and I will lead you to Your victory. There are no prisoners at My feet. All are free. Choose Me and gain victory. Choose the pleasure of self and you become entrapped. I am the way to freedom and victory. Come to Me.

As I’m shaking from the danger of cake addiction, I take a deep breath, “Thank you Lord for Your forgiving, delivering power to save me from myself.”


Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; in You I take shelter. Teach me to do Your will,  for You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness.  Psalm 143:9-10

— If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9 NKJV

For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You. Psalm 86:5 NKJV

— Though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up. Proverbs 24:16 HCSB

Thank you Lord  for Your forgiving Power!IMG_4129IMG_1667IMG_5581

About deborahcrocker

I am a retired public school teacher. I have been married for 44 years to my high school sweet heart. We have two grown children and six grandchildren. For many years I have written my prayers in order to maintain both my focus and as a release from my stresses. These prayers are written in the form of dialog with God. I write my concerns, questions, and then write the answers just as they came into my heart. This website contains the conversations I had with God concerning my constant struggle with my weight and my compulsion to overindulge in the pleasure of food. I have gained, lost, and regained over 60lbs several times throughout my lifetime. I am now in the process of surrendering this addiction to God’s control and I know He will give me the victory. I believe that God speaks to all of His children in different ways. With me, He speaks both in my heart and in my dialog writings. ”My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” John 10:27 It is my hope and prayer that these dialogs will both encourage and bless you throughout your own journey of breaking free from your addiction. I hope that you will also begin having your own personal dialogs with God. He will speak to your heart as well.I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and that He rose again on the third day so that we may have a “new” life both here on Earth and later in Heaven. I also believe that my overeating (gluttony) is a sin (addiction) that has held me in bondage with a constant struggle for most of my adult life. This addiction, like all addictions, has prevented me from living a life to my fullest potential. I have always felt controlled and defeated by this overwhelming compulsion to overeat. This compulsion, at times, has damaged both my confidence and my potential. John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly. BUT I know that Jesus Christ has come to set me free! HE IS THE ANSWER! As I surrender the control of my life and desires to His direction and His will, He will set me free from all addictions! He promises and He will make you free too! John 8:36 Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. VICTORY IS COMING!!!
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4 Responses to Eau de Butter Cream Parfum 

  1. Bridgette's Digits 🔛 An Epic Weight Loss Journey says:

    Failure is not failure quote… Love it!

  2. susieshy45 says:

    Praise God you walked away from it and God helped you see when you needed to call out to him for help.

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